I was Asleep

This blog is sort of in a way a reply to my last blog, "Open up my Eyes". This evening was another amazing service at M.H. As my uncle Greg got up and began giving the challenge at the end his words hit me and I was like, "Hello!" They made me think back to my previous blog and I realized an awful thought. My eyes weren't just shut, it was far worse: I was asleep. That's scary. I don't want to live my life asleep to all the good things God has for me and the plans He has for me. I'm awake now. My alarm is blaring, 5:14...5:14...5:14. I'm done sleeping and just dreaming, I'm ready to be awake and alert and living out the great plans God has for me. Forget living life on the sidelines not fully aware of my surroundings. It's time to get into the game.

Open Up My Eyes

Have you ever had one of those, 'Duh!' moments? I know I sure have! The past couple of days haven't been much different either. I mean, I get so caught up in the bad stuff in life I completely miss the good. I'm too absorbed in that car crash on the news, that bad grade, that injury, illness, and the list goes on and on. When, in reality, most of those bad things don't matter much. Of course there are bigger things that happen that do really make you feel bad. But a lot of the time there small things that really aren't worth your worry. I know how bad I get about that. Fortunately, I have recently had the privilege to sit and talk with a good friend and it really opened my eyes. It made me really stop and think about my life and how it's so much better than I think. I realized just how many blessings God has placed in my life. I mean, so many great friends from church, so many fun evenings I've gotten to spend with my family and at the ball games. I'm in good health, I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, food to eat, friends and family, what else could I need? All the rest of the stuff I think I need is most likely want not necessity. I'll have to learn that lesson in time...(I'm working on it!) So, what I'm really trying to say here, is OPEN YOUR EYES! Don't miss out on all the good stuff God has placed in your life and all of the good stuff He's doing in your life! When you open your eyes to all those blessings it will blow your mind! I know it blew mine!

I'm At it Again!

Okay...So I'm at it again! Writing another story! So, of course, I'm going to post it for you all. This one is another lyric-infused story. This song is A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton! So, enjoy! Let me know what you think!

A Thousand Miles

Makin’ my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I’m home bound

Lacey couldn’t see. Her vision was blurred with tears. Her nose ran uncontrollably. The icy December air bit at every inch of exposed skin. Her tears felt like ice frozen on her face. Her fingers were numb, her lips blue. She was probably quite a sight to the others she passed on her way through town but she could care less. They had their own problems and she had hers. She could only focus on her own at that moment. Hate and anger consumed her body into a rage. She flung herself against a building then fell into a heap on the ground. Her body convulsed with her steady sobs. Then as quickly as the anger filled her, it left her. Now she was left scared and upset. She picked herself up and continued on her way.

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

She reached the thick part of town. People were jammed onto every possible spot on the sidewalks. Lacey pushed her way through, not excusing her self in doing so. She forged through one way, and then shoved her way through the other. She received many glares and some choice words but she didn’t take notice to any of them. She kept her focus ahead. She was just determined to get home.

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder…

She reached the outskirts of the city and slowed her pace. She thought back to just hours earlier. She sat through a funeral service, her family members surrounding her. Not a dry face could be found. People she didn’t even know had shown up to give her their condolences. She had slightly smiled to acknowledge their kindness then looked away. She was in no mood for small talk with strangers. As soon as it was over she grabbed her coat and scarf and left. She called to her family that she would meet them at the house. None of them argued with her to stay. Smart family.

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time,
Would pass us by?

She found a park bench and sat on it. How could this have happened? How could have her mother just died like that? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she had to lose her mother, her best friend, at just 15 years of age. Who would she go to when she needed to talk? Had a guy problem? Or just simply needed some one-on-one girl talk. Her dad? As much as she loved him, conversations about some things just wouldn’t be the same, and slightly awkward. Her best friends? Of course she had them but the bond between them just wasn’t the same as the bond between her and her mother. She loved all of her family and friends dearly but nothing was going to be the same ever again. She just wished she could simply sit there forever and forget the world. Forget time. Forget every pain and heartache she had ever gone through. Life just seemed so unfair.

I’d walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight.

As strong as her desire to sit and forget the world was, just as strong was her desire to run. Run so hard it felt like her lungs would burst. Running like that would help take some of the pain away. Get her mind off things. But she had nowhere to run. She lived in a city. She almost decided on running in circles. Anything was better than nothing at that point. She would have run forever if it would bring her mother back. Or at least brought her close. Close enough to reach out and touch her, to hug her last one time, to actually say goodbye. It was the simplest thing that would do so much for her at that moment. The one thing she had been deprived of.

It’s always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever think of me

It had been six long months since her mother’s death. The pain was finally beginning to fade. All the same, it was still there. It was warm June afternoon and Lacey was walking around the park. The same one she had come to the night of her mother’s funeral. It had become her “spot”. It was her place of refuge, where she felt safe and protected. She would just sit and breathe. Something she needed desperately to do to stay sane. It made her feel refreshed and more alive then before she had come. She always left wondering though, if somehow, somewhere, her mother was still watching her.

‘Cause everything’s so wrong
And I don’t belong
Living in your precious memories

The moving on part during those six months was hard for Lacey. It was near impossible. Cooking Christmas dinner without her mother just didn’t feel right; the gingerbread men lost their taste, the ham was too dry. Christmas morning held no joy, no excitement. They had always been a Christian family but after their mother’s death, they had all forgotten the real reason for the season. Lacey woke up Christmas morning impassive and barely there. By mid March life had begun to return to normal. Then by June it was as if her mother never existed. That thought killed Lacey inside. She kept quiet though. She didn’t want to bring back that black cloud that had hung over them for so long.

It’s always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder if you ever think of me

Lacey had returned back to the park one late July evening. Happy, precious memories of her mother floated through her mind. She sat on her usual bench, although there was another woman on the opposite end. Lacey minded her own business, and the lady did the same. Lindsay sighed as a gentle, steady rain began to fall from the gray skies. The lady got up and headed for shelter. She offered Lacey her umbrella since she was returning inside. Lacey politely declined and the woman left. Lacey noticed a small folded piece of paper on the side of the bench that the lady had recently occupied. She reached over and grabbed it before it received more rain damage. She turned to call after the lady but she was already gone. Lacey carefully opened it up. A bible verse was scrawled across it. “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:10
Lacey smiled. So she was being watched. Not by her mother but by God. He cared about her no matter what. He was there for her no matter what. He had been with her the entire time. Why hadn’t she realized that before? She pushed the thought aside. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t thought of it before, it mattered that she realized it now. She got up from the bench with an added spring her step. The rain had stopped and the clouds were parting. Lacey began her journey back home. The journey that once seemed like a thousand miles. Now, it was like nothing. She moved quickly as she had some very important things she needed to remind her family. This time instead of that black cloud though, she was bringing the sun.

Any Suggestions??

Okay...I am at a serious writer's block here. I cannot think of anything to write about!! So...now...its up to you guys. What do you want me to post about? Anything in particular? Any input and suggestions are greatly appreciated!!!

~bloggergirl24~

Filling in the Gap

So...since I don't have anything to write about...I decided to post yet another story for you all to read. Hopefully you guys like this one. It's a little different because I incorporated song lyrics into the story. So, let me know what you think!!

BREAKAWAY

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window

She sat motionless in her bedroom. Rain pounded on the roof of her small, run-down house. She listened as the shutters flapped furiously against the wall just outside her bedroom. Barely hanging there, she was sure they would fly off in this storm. Lightning flashed and the lights in the house flickered. She still didn’t move. Thunder rumbled so loud it shook her house. She still didn’t move. The sound of the front door slamming did move her though. That meant her father was home. She quickly closed her shabby curtains and dove onto her mattress on the floor. If her father found her up this late he would make sure she regretted it.

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

She had only wanted to do what she loved; to sing. She was the top singer in her choir at school. Her music teacher thought highly of her singing abilities and highly of her as a person. Her father however, had different opinions. To him, singing was a waste of time. He thought she should be at home doing chores and helping her mother rather than staying late after school just to ‘speak songs faster than normal’. He just didn’t understand. Her mother did however, but her fear of her husband often crushed her hopes and dreams for her daughter. At least the ones she displayed publicly. Inside, she believed her daughter could do anything. She would never tell her husband that though.

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me

She rolled over onto her back and flipped on the lamp next to her bed. Pulling up her sleeves she revealed bruises and scars. Along with some fresh ones she received just that afternoon.
She had stayed late after school to practice with her music teacher, thinking her father would already be at work. Unfortunately she didn’t know he worked a later shift that evening. He was sitting in the living room, waiting for her when she entered the door.
“Where have you been, young lady?” he asked.
“Nowhere,” she answered quietly.
“I said, where have you been?” His voice grew louder.
“At school,” her voice still small.
“At where?” his voice grew louder still.
“School.”
“You weren’t doing that awful singing junk, were you?” He was on his feet now.
“Yes I was,” she whispered and closed her eyes, knowing just what to expect. Sure enough, only seconds later she felt his rough hand ram into her arm, then his heavy boot into her shin. She bit her lower lip to keep from crying out; it would only make things worse. He grunted and then walked away. She ran to her room and had been there ever since. She pulled the sleeves back down. The memories those scars brought were too painful to think about. Her pain ran much deeper than just physically.

Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

Hours later she was still awake. She could hear the soft melodic tick of the clock as seconds passed by. Thought after thought kept rolling through her mind. What had she done to deserve this? Wasn’t her best enough? Did he not love her? All she wanted was for him to love her as much as she loved him. Was that too much to ask? She would paint pictures for him in kindergarten and bring them to him with pride. He would take one look at it, mutter something like pathetic or worthless under his breath, and then tear it to pieces and throw it away. Then later, when musicals and performances rolled around she figured he would like those. He never showed up. Not once. In fact, he had forbidden her to continue singing. She couldn’t, of course, so she stopped mentioning her upcoming musical, or choir practice. He still knew though. He always seemed to know. She was determined to get out of there though. She knew something better was out there waiting for her. She just had to find it.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky

The next morning she was up early. She fixed breakfast and left her mother and father each a plate on a table. She grabbed her small backpack of things, the keys to the car, and was gone. By the time anybody missed her, she would be halfway across the state.

And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Driving down the highway, she knew this may not be her best idea but it was all she had. 45 more minutes and she would be living with her aunt and uncle in LA. She’d be away from all the pain and abuse. Living in a place like LA would give her more of a chance of being discovered too. She wasn’t about to turn around anytime soon either. This was one change that had to be made.

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love

She pulled into her aunt and uncle’s driveway and parked the car. She sat in the driver’s seat for a moment. She thought about her poor mother. She should have at least left her some sort of note of explanation. No, it would have been too risky. Her father would have been sure to get a hold of it. Besides, it was much too late to be worrying over things like that. She stepped out of the car with the sense of a new beginning; and this time she was going to start it right.

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean

Months had past since she joined her aunt and uncle. School was going great and she was headed to a possible recording contract. LA’s top talent agent had overheard her one-day after school singing. The rest was history.

Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

She was headed out on her first headlining tour. Tickets were selling out fast, news stations nationally were running stories on her, and she had finally made it. But to her, it wasn’t just the thrill of fame or fortune. It was about the breaking out of her abusive home and stepping into new light. She had finally gotten away from it and made her dreams come true. She knew back at home her father still wouldn’t be proud but she didn’t care. For once, his approval didn’t matter to her. True, the scars were still there and memories flashed through her mind, but they were hurting less and less each day. She was breaking away and that was all that mattered.

She reached her hotel and sat on the edge of the bed facing the window. She sat motionless. Outside, rain poured down. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled. She didn’t move. Out in the hallway, a door to a room slammed shut. Still, she didn’t move.

Sneak Peek ;)

Alright..so...I often have little thoughts and short parts of stories come up in my head. I like the ideas but..usually get nowhere with them. Although, I had this one come up that I really liked and so I'm going to post it here and let you all tell me what you think. Thanks for any input guys!! (P.S. I'm thinking about titling the story or book or whatever it is I may do with this excerpt, The Piano Man. Alright..enough babbling...here's the excerpt!)

She silently slipped into the back of the room. It was completely dark aside from one spotlight that shone above a man playing a piano. Her heart raced and her body trembled as she listened to his song. Gentle rhythms, amazing melody, and stunning chords captured her heart and soul. She watched intently as his graceful fingers danced upon the black and white keys. He carefully pressed each one but he composed a remarkable piece of work. It was obvious this man put his everything into the song. His body moved back and forth in jerking motions to the beat of the song. His head thrust down toward the piano and then back up again as if shouting to the sky. The man began to play louder, the adrenaline in the room increased and he thrashed about on the piano into a crescendo of hard-hitting notes. But they still fit that incredible piece of work that he had being softly playing just moments before. Suddenly, all was quiet. The man looked frozen in his spot on the piano bench. Then slowly, his right hand went down and played a simple note. His left hand followed, and another note followed. Four more chords floated through the room before all was silent once more. The man let out a deep breath and his head fell downward. There was a quick click from somewhere in the room, and then it was completely dark.

Valedictorian Speech

Here is my Valedictorian Speech. Hope you like it!

Good evening, thank you all for coming tonight. It is an honor and privilege to stand and speak in front of you this evening. To my classmates I would just like to say how amazing these past few years have been. Life just wouldn’t be the same if I hadn’t met you guys. Thank you for that. I’d also like to thank God for the opportunity to attend such a wonderful school. I’ve learned so much over the years. St. Paul not only teaches you math, science, language, reading and social studies, St. Paul also teaches its students good morals and values; about being our best and respecting others. Most importantly they teach us about God. About His love for us, how much he cares for us, and how he died for us. The teachers at St. Paul also set the standards high. Sometimes they may seem a bit too much but they only do that because they expect our best efforts and know that we all have the potential to succeed. Their faith and belief in each of their students is just another great quality of this school.
With everything said about the great teachers, I would like to take a moment and personally thank every teacher that helped us make it this far. They are: Mrs. Pacilli, Ms. Koewn, Mrs. Hennrich, Mrs. Easley, Mrs. Sherrill, Mrs. Bishop, Mrs. King, Mrs. Judge, Mrs. Revoir, Mrs. Smith, Mr. Sherrill, Mrs. Johnson, and Mr. G. They made our journey through St. Paul so much more enjoyable, fun, and meaningful. THANK YOU for that. There are also a few other people that should be mentioned: Mr. Joe for the great coaching and all the times he’s had to clean up after us; Mrs. Rickus for every scrape she’s put a band-aid on, every headache she’s medicated, and every paper she’s copied; Mrs. Woods and Mrs. Province for the numerous school lunches they have cooked for us; Mrs. Voglesang for all the times she’s had to clean up after us also, Mrs. Hovis for teaching us the value of reading, Mrs. Towler for teaching us the value of music, and Mrs. Gierse for keeping us in shape.
As we stand before you all now and we finally graduate, there is only one question left in our minds: Do we make you proud? Have we done enough, said enough, become enough to make you proud of us? Parents? Teachers? Friends and other family? Are you proud of us? This past week one song keeps playing in my mind. Some of the lyrics go like this:
I've never been the one to raise my hand,
That was not me and now that's who I am
Because of you I am standing tall,
My heart is full of endless gratitude,
You were the one, the one to guide me through,
Now I can see and I believe it's only just beginning
This what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud?
Stronger than I've ever been NOW
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud?
I hope that we do make you proud. I hope that each one of the teachers that helped and encouraged us along the way are proud to say, ‘I taught those kids.’ I hope every parent in the room is able to stand tall, and stand by their children and say with pride, “This is my child. I am proud of him or her.” The same with all the friends and family members. I know we’re proud of our accomplishments and we’ve worked hard to earn them.
Our journey to this moment hasn’t always been easy. No one ever said that it would be though. Along the way we’ve had some bumps and bruises and low and hard times. But they all have on thing in common: they brought us closer. Yes, sometimes we may have fought or gotten in an argument but we always got through it. We realized what we were fighting over was a small matter, so we let it go, forgave each other, and kept moving forward. There were other times though, that hit us harder. There were some really difficult situations; both personal and as a class. At the time, the situations were awful, almost unbearable. But we all came together as a class and worked through our problems. We encouraged and comforted each other. The end result? A stronger and more mature class. Looking back today, I’m almost thankful for those hard times. Those times are what helped shape us into who we are today. Every time we overcame a problem a little piece of who we are fell into place. So, if trading those bad times for some happier times meant losing who my classmates are today…I wouldn’t do it. These people sitting here, whom I’ve grown up with, have become some amazing people. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
So, as the year has wrapped up and we’ve come to the end, all of us eighth graders have realized just what we’ve taken for granted all these years; all of the fun activities that won’t be the same at public school such as chapel services and National Lutheran Schools Week. We’ve also begun to look back and remember all the good times we’ve experienced and how quickly all the years flew by. The things we’ve enjoyed everyday without even noticing it have become cherished events. We realize now that nothing can truly last forever. Even though we may be leaving St. Paul physically, it doesn’t mean that we’ll be leaving it emotionally. With all of the memories, experiences, life lessons, and friends we’ve made, it would be impossible to leave St. Paul all together. The people that I’ve called classmates for the past 8 years are no longer just classmates; they’re family. Even though leaving here is incredibly hard, it is inevitable and the necessary next step for us all to take.
For the kindergartners here today it is the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. For the 8th graders, it’s the end of that same chapter we began 8 years ago. But it doesn’t stop there for us. We’ll all move on to high school and begin yet another chapter. We may move into a different setting with different people but we’ll always remember St. Paul; all the things we learned, the people we met, and the memories that we made.
I pray that as we all go to high school we’ll always remember that most important thing St. Paul taught us about. I hope we never forget how much God cares about us. About how He’s always there for us. Just like it says in Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I hope we’ll always trust and put our faith in God. To rely on him and seek his guidance. So…congratulations St. Paul class of ’08! WE MADE IT!!!!!